Let’s say you are the kind of person that grows best when you have someone guiding you: someone asking powerful questions; someone very caring to help you through rough spots; someone you can feel in partnership and candid with; and someone who remains neutral and keeps everything you say confidential--no shame, no blame, just support, … Continue reading A Conversation: Just What Is Coaching Anyway!
A day is just a day...and come what may, at the end of the day, I will find my way. Life is a journey and full of twists and turns! Things may get thrown at you and you may get derailed. Trust in yourself and know, it is all just a journey. Walk the … Continue reading You Will Find Your Way
Why would you want to rob one of their learning opportunity? Experience is the best teacher, not succeeding the first time is an important lesson. Rescuing is enabling, not supporting. You learned your lessons! Let them learn theirs!
You do not own their failures. People own their own. Accountability is a gift that builds self-respect. If you take ownership of their failures, you will see they will begin to give you their successes. Removing one more block from the foundation of self-respect.
Interestingly enough, I had been allowed to fail; and watching these “leaders” tear into my father, I knew it was all a part of the plan. I knew, when we got home, we were not going to be talking about the horse, the class, my performance, or the 4-H club. Knowing my father as I did, I now knew what I had set myself up for. I saw a “learning moment” coming when I saw it. We would be having a conversation about my father’s broken record topics; cause and effect behavior, accountability, self-respect, and choices.
The instructor asked some simple questions; “who did the team allow to impede progress? Who was able to change the dynamics in the moment? Who continued to change the team’s mind?” Unequivocally the answers came back –from the whole class, not the presenting team-team member number five. Confirming for the class that the power rested with the perceived weakest member!
You will find this in those who influenced you-and in those who you influence. Your behavior will be reflected back for you.
The sender-receiver model suggests we are sending and receiving messages simultaneously. I wonder sometimes if we are better at sending than receiving.
In communication, being clear on purpose and utilizing the power of effective questions can take the focus off what “we” want others to do, and places the focus on empowering and developing others. At the end of the day, which has more impact?